Philosopher Thomas Hobbs said that the reason for the social agreement between different people is because of fear.
Individuals band together, escaping the "state of nature" and entering a world of order and expectations. This ensures stability in their lives and perhaps happiness.
In this chaotic social realm we all find ourselves in one time or another, we look to others for guidance and protection. We look for friends. But at times we make these friendships with members of the opposite sex. While that's all fine and dandy that we do that, there is sometimes a temptation to ditch the known social contract that was originally made and allow for a free trade of sensations. In our case, I'll let that mean a kiss or a casual make-out.
When you two first kiss, a whole new list of options is available to you. But here's the kicker: Do you want the relationship to change?
Some people pretend that a normal friendship can still exist, even after the introduction of make-outs.
In the Wild Wild West, there are no rules. Kiss here, make-out there. The only agreement that you and the other have is that there are no official rules anymore. There are some people that revel in this kind of environment. If you think of these outlaws in these Western times, they are always having a good time, because their way of life is supported and accepted. They plunder, they shoot people, and they don't feel bad about it.
You may end up being one of those people. You kiss and make-out, but it's only for fun, and not in any way a romantic gesture. But also in the Wild Wild West, there are those who do bad things, but know a better moral code. The sherif, for instance, lives his days shooting people, but he knows deep down that it's not right.
Now, on the other end of the spectrum, Sometimes after the first kiss, people might confuse the intentions of the physical relationship.
Basically, an enticing deal is on the table- a time at "X" desired spot in the world. Both the consumer and the employee want this meeting to happen. One main difference, however, is their motives. The consumer wants the free coupon for 50$ at R.C. Willy for participating, and the employee wants some kind of commission for making the sale. They both shared desires to go to this meeting, but at the meeting, both parties realize that the other is not there for the right reasons. Basically, both parties are try to use each other, forcing a relationship based on the initial desires that both had to be at the meeting. The meeting ends frustratingly, as one leaves with free food and a coupon, and the other one left alone.
When a more physical relationship forms in a friendship, some people take the extreme and claim that it's meant to be. However, you have got to realize that everyone has their motives. If true intentions are known, perhaps one person might have not wanted to kiss in the first place. Forced relationships usually end up with someone feeling screwed. Why? Because perhaps one person had genuine intentions to make the relationship work, while the other just wanted a free meal or two and a good makey-outey.
In conclusion, once this relationship transition has been made, there is no going back to a mere friendship.
In my disclaimer, I do not think that making out with friends is bad. I just say that it's impossible to restore the original friendship. I know that romantic relationships can originate from friendships, sure. But these relationships need to be based on honesty and true intentions. That's why there was an original agreement of friendship made in the first place. I opt that the 'friends' in "Friends with benefits" be changed, because when the "benefits" are involved, it becomes a selfish game which will end with somebody getting hurt. And friends don't do that to each other.
In this chaotic social realm we all find ourselves in one time or another, we look to others for guidance and protection. We look for friends. But at times we make these friendships with members of the opposite sex. While that's all fine and dandy that we do that, there is sometimes a temptation to ditch the known social contract that was originally made and allow for a free trade of sensations. In our case, I'll let that mean a kiss or a casual make-out.
This is dubbed "friends with benefits."
When you two first kiss, a whole new list of options is available to you. But here's the kicker: Do you want the relationship to change?
Some people pretend that a normal friendship can still exist, even after the introduction of make-outs.
"Friends kiss all the time, it's no big deal," says the naive man sitting in the corner. But alas, by refusing to admit the physical and emotional baggage that a physical relationship carries in a normal friendship, the individuals end up in a world where they are supposedly the exception. Normal relationship rules do not apply to them, because their relationship is "special". They get caught up in an emotional Wild Wild West.
In the Wild Wild West, there are no rules. Kiss here, make-out there. The only agreement that you and the other have is that there are no official rules anymore. There are some people that revel in this kind of environment. If you think of these outlaws in these Western times, they are always having a good time, because their way of life is supported and accepted. They plunder, they shoot people, and they don't feel bad about it.You may end up being one of those people. You kiss and make-out, but it's only for fun, and not in any way a romantic gesture. But also in the Wild Wild West, there are those who do bad things, but know a better moral code. The sherif, for instance, lives his days shooting people, but he knows deep down that it's not right.
You and the other might think that the Wild Wild West is a good thing: No guilt, no rules, no consequences;but perhaps you know better. Just make sure that this friend of yours is on the same page as you. Maybe he or she thinks that this relationship could hopefully blossom into a relationship. They might think that it's more important to be involved with the other in some way in order to not sacrifice the relationship completely.
Why can't this revert to a friendship?
It's because a friendship is based on trust. In the Wild Wild West, you can't trust anyone. It may revert to a "time-share meeting," but not a true friendship.
Now, on the other end of the spectrum, Sometimes after the first kiss, people might confuse the intentions of the physical relationship.
They trick themselves that because it felt good to kiss or make-out, it's destiny that they get into a relationship. Because of their friendship, each person feels obligated to continue activity in the relationship, even though they might not want it. Have you ever had an experience with Time-Share representatives? Let me take a moment to explain what's up.
Basically, an enticing deal is on the table- a time at "X" desired spot in the world. Both the consumer and the employee want this meeting to happen. One main difference, however, is their motives. The consumer wants the free coupon for 50$ at R.C. Willy for participating, and the employee wants some kind of commission for making the sale. They both shared desires to go to this meeting, but at the meeting, both parties realize that the other is not there for the right reasons. Basically, both parties are try to use each other, forcing a relationship based on the initial desires that both had to be at the meeting. The meeting ends frustratingly, as one leaves with free food and a coupon, and the other one left alone.When a more physical relationship forms in a friendship, some people take the extreme and claim that it's meant to be. However, you have got to realize that everyone has their motives. If true intentions are known, perhaps one person might have not wanted to kiss in the first place. Forced relationships usually end up with someone feeling screwed. Why? Because perhaps one person had genuine intentions to make the relationship work, while the other just wanted a free meal or two and a good makey-outey.
Why can't this revert to a friendship?
It's because after an experience like this, one if not both leave the relationship wounded. In a timeshare meeting, you know one of them is going to come out the winner.
In conclusion, once this relationship transition has been made, there is no going back to a mere friendship.
When there has been an act on these hormones, you usually have the following two choices:
- Your time in the Wild Wild West.
- Your time in a Time share meeting.
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